Published on June 11, 2010

Actor Joe Pantoliano Fights Stigma

Joe Pantoliano seems to have everything. He is an actor with more than 100 screen, stage and television credits and wrote a best-selling book.

He had it all, and he had way too much of it - too much alcohol, too many painkillers, too many casual relationships. "I have been looking for peace of mind my entire life," he explained."I still haven't found it. Some people never do.''

To understand where he is going and what he has accomplished, he tells you where he has been. That's what he was doing in the Quad Cities recently when he brought his documentary on mental illness - he calls it mental disease - here on behalf of Vera French Mental Health Center.

His mother, Mary, was a seamstress and helped the local bookmakers by taking bets. His father, Dominic, drove a hearse. Joe Pantoliano, who doesn't mind the nickname Joey Pants, now believes his father was also afflicted with mental disease, as was his mother.

His parents split up and his mother began a relationship with her distant cousin, Florio, who served time in prison and was well-connected with organized crime.

Pantoliano had learning disabilities at a time when kids with learning disabilities were often characterized as "just lazy'' or worse. He was teased and bullied until he became the kid no one messed with. He had attention deficit disorder and was dyslexic, seemingly odd circumstances to begin a successful acting career.

"My sister read me the senior play ‘Up the Down Staircase' because I couldn't read it myself. I had a third-grade reading level when I was a senior in high school. I got the part and Florio thought I should be an actor,'' Pantoliano explained.

Addictive Personality
Pantoliano has been acting ever since with notable performances on the big screen in "Eddie and the Cruisers," "Risky Business," "Running Scared," "The Fugitive" and "U.S. Marshals" and on the small screen as the cocky and dangerously unpredictable Ralph Cifaretto in "The Sopranos."

He functioned as an actor with great results, but he wasn't happy about his success or his life. In 2004, he was diagnosed with clinical depression. He has also been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress, the result of beatings he took from his mother, he said. Interspersed throughout his life have been addictive behaviors.

"Give me a symptom or an addiction, and I'll latch on to it as mine,'' he said. "I found that painkillers I had for a back injury could make the feeling go away. I was addicted to alcohol, drugs and sex. I know mental disease is passed down in families. It was in mine. I didn't know my mother was crazy. I thought the way she acted was normal. It wasn't."

Pantoliano said he never has been that impaired actor in the tabloids who doesn't show up on the set and can't get his lines out. "If anything, what I was doing made me more dependable because I was self-medicating to not feel so bad,'' he explained.

"Coming Out'' With Mental Illness
Pantoliano now travels the country as an advocate of "coming out'' with mental illness to eliminate the stigma. "A lot of people still don't believe in mental disease. We're supposed to live quietly in our sadness, but I'm out here and so are a lot of others,'' he said. "I have mental disease.''

His documentary "No Kidding?!! Me Too" provides audiences with the opening to talk about mental health. He shows the documentary and talks with audiences about his personal story. He asks who in the room has experienced mental disease in their family or personally. Hands go up all over.

He enlisted the assistance of acting friends Harrison Ford, Bonnie Hunt and others to promote the documentary. He still battles depression, but now does it on his terms.

"I can sense it (his depression) coming. I don't try to avoid it. I live in the sadness, just as I live in the happiness," he added. "What I do is get out and walk. I'm a big believer that just being outside and going for a walk ... I walk everywhere ... can help with the bad periods.''

He also attends at least one 12-step program meeting, often two, every day, no matter where he is in the country. "If we can eliminate the stigma of the disease, it would be a big step in dealing with the millions of people who have it,'' he said.