Published on February 29, 2016

Grief Doula? Not Far Fetched

As It Must, It Happens

We never really, fully, believe in our heart’s secret place that we will be the one left behind.

We never really, fully believe in our heart’s secret place that
we will be the one left behind.

We are all born. We live. We die. This is the general equation that applies to us all. There are other important considerations inside this basic equation, however. When we live, we love. We form meaningful attachments to important others in our lives. It is through these meaningful attachments that we discover suffering, particularly the suffering that involves the death of the ones that we love when we find ourselves living on.

Every day we encounter death. It is in the news; our television shows; in movies and the stories we read. We form ideas and opinions early on about what death is; what it might be like, and how it must feel when someone close dies. Despite all of this intellectual absorption, we never really, fully believe in our heart’s secret place that we will be the one left behind. And then, of course, as it must, it happens.

Is That Even Possible?

You are not the only one with a broken heart

You are not the only one with a broken heart

Experiencing such a loss, while a universal experience, feels very isolating, as if we are the only ones with a broken heart. We struggle with feelings of loss, extreme sadness, difficulty processing even the simplest information, feelings of longing and frequently wondering if we are losing our grip. Despite the universal experience of this, our society does little to help us feel accepted and cared for. We are expected to “bite the bullet” and “get back in the saddle” and have a “stiff upper lip.” In fact, these behaviors are admired and held up as the norm. Our jobs provide us with three days of bereavement pay and we are expected to return to work fully functional. How is that even possible?

The Doula Example

There is an old concept that has resurfaced in the past several years in the childbearing world of having “doulas” to help families have a better birthing experience. Birthing, as you know, used to be an event that happened in the home with the assistance of family members and women who were especially knowledgeable about the birth process. In the modern day world, women are again able to have a similar experience using doulas.

The past couple of years we are now seeing “death doulas” who are providing the same kind of special attention to the end-of-life experience for those who wish to employ them. Given our society’s lack of acceptance and understanding of the grieving processes, and an overwhelming lack of knowledgeable support, the concept of a “grief doula” is really not at all far fetched.

Help Is Here

We can helpGenesis Grief Support envisions a community where everyone going through a grief journey has support.

Hospice is the only part of healthcare in the United States that actually officially recognizes the necessity and the importance of support for the survivors after a death has occurred. In fact, our legislators actually require this support to be part of the hospice care benefit for thirteen months after a death.

Genesis Hospice employs grief support staff who are here to help our hospice families and any other grieving person in need of care and support. You have only to ask and support is available to you!

Click here for more information. You may also contact a Genesis Grief Support staff member at 563-421-5000.

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Grieving the loss of a loved one?

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Free, confidential online grief support is here.

For immediate support, call Genesis Grief Support at:

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